AM TORN

I dunno what to do. I do know actually but there is this feeling that is making me sick to the stomach.I have never traveled alone and doing it is hard.I wish I didnt have to leave my family behind.Its tuff enuff to do it all alone but to think that am ruining my love for my career is worse.Yes I want to be with him all night and day but we both need to venture outside your zone of comfort to do what we need to do.I am psyched to be able to study abroad.My parents are the best in the world but why does it have to happen at the cost of being separated from them ? I am scared that once I land in USA I might not want to go bavk and then what ? I becum a loner in a place where I dont have any loved ones.I cant come to terms with leaving kolkata.Its the place where my roots are. I need to discover myself so I have no regrets but its hard on me.I cry and I scream out at times but there has been no respite lately.It all seems like ablur.Last meetings make me feel like am dying. The day I had my admit I was psyched but there was ahollow in my throat.i knew my days are numbered in India. The scholarshop was the iciing on the cake :). But then it had a nasty price. However i cnt complain now.I chose dis and i wanted only dis and my parents are proud but then again so am i.dere are ppl who are trying to ruin it but all i have to say is hey am not spending my dads money am i ? but u r..........daddys' little girl has grown up and she knows her responsibilities.